Be a Critic or a Cheerleader?

In Changing life, Compassion, ego, Positivity, Productivity on June 29, 2013 at 1:31 am

Since no man or woman, as John Donne said “is an island” we depend on each other for everything.

At the most most basic level these are all the material things in life we need everyday.

But on an emotional level the views and opinions of other people does have bearing on us – even if sometimes like might to think we don’t need anyone else’s opinion. Need doesn’t come into it. Opinions and views shape us and play a part in moulding us to lesser or greater degrees.

Words are pretty powerful. So when we open our ‘trap’ (aka our mouth) the views expressed are not just neutral.

Everyday  each of us has a choice whether we’re going to be a Critic or a Cheerleader.

Do the words and sentiments that’s tumble from our tongues lash a person’s self esteem and sense of worth, or encourage and nurture?

Everyone needs a cheerleader. Not necessarily someone who is super successful or strong or knows all the answers. Just a good and kind word can make a hell of a difference.

The Critic doesn’t think about how they communicate, but uses the force of their words to squash and restrict, without guiding.

The Cheerleader suggests and probes and  creates a safe space for the other to express and  reach their own view.

The Critic words are heavy, like lead.

The Cheerleader’s words are uplifting and light. They don’t fatigue the listener like  the words of the Critic’s forked tongue does.

A Critic’s words can chide, manipulate and confuse, keeping you small and trapped.

A Cheerleader seeks to inspire, offer a perspective and nudge you. Not only can we apply this the idea of the Critic and Cheerleader to others, but we can to ourselves as well.

When our mind is engaged in ceaseless mental chatter, it’s kind of like having a conversation. Just with yourself. Speaking to yourself instead of another.

We can sometimes be our own worst critic.

That doesn’t get us anywhere.

More like nowhere, fast.

Never really makes one feel good.

But being a Cheerleader to yourself. Sometimes it hard to find words of praise of yourself, which is not modesty, but because it might be hard to believe it. But, being self-critical, without good reason or a sense of perspective, is unhealthy.

The Critic and self-critics uses destructive sentiments, whilst the Cheerleader is creative and constructive with their views.

Don’t rain on your own parade, and as Maya Angelou once wrote try to be “a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.”


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