Change always comes

In Changing life, Happiness, Life goals on October 15, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Recently, I’ve been thinking about the idea of change in life and amazed at no matter how much you plan for life, there are always left-field events that occur, things that happen that with hindsight were a surety and how much energy (and excuses) we use up to resist or deny change from doing it’s stuff. Random musings:

Change is certain

(1) If nothing much else is guaranteed in life, Change certainly is. It’s bound to happen. Whether you believe in God, evolution, buses coming in threes, the ten-second rule when food hits the floor, glass half empty or glass half full, etc. The only question is when will Change make itself known. Over that, we all have some influence. Sometimes, if we’re open and willing, Change will cross our path quicker; alternatively when we’re stubborn or resist (sometimes with good reason) Change’s entrance will be delayed (but it doesn’t mean it isn’t on its way). So, if it is guaranteed and inevitable, then maybe it is easier to go with Change, learn how to cope with it and use it to your advantage. I’m reminded of a quote in Julius Caesar, when Brutus having helped murder Caesar is getting increasingly cornered by his enemies. Ruminating on life for a moment, and perhaps on his situation, he says, “There is a time in the affairs of men, which when taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat; and we must take the current when it serves, or lose our ventures.” The trick is learning how to identify which kind of change is going to take you to the shore, or which kind of change is going to crash your boat and sink you!

Change needs action 

(2) Change, of the positive and deliberate kind, willed on by you, creates lots of ‘potentials’ in life. But these aren’t very strong things. Potentials are like first thoughts or steps, a creative spark or fragments of inspiration. Maybe its a new venture, or a different way of living, or a change of direction. But ‘possibilities’ is what is really needed to make potential stronger, and ‘possibilities’ only come from beginning to take some small actions. Eventually, with enough action possibility turns into ‘probability’ and then ‘probability’, sometimes into ‘certainty.’

Coping with change sometimes mean skilling up

(3) Sometimes, we don’t embrace change or encourage it because we just don’t have the resources. If these are financial resources, it can be pretty hard to come by more easily, but not impossible, though hard to figure out how. But, there are many tales of people who against the odds managed to find the pennies and pounds or ideas/opportunities to turn things around. They got an education, worked harder, read more books, went to evening class, worked on an idea, took two jobs, asked for help.

Sometimes, those resources are emotional and mental. That can be harder to deal with. So, we turn our backs on change, delay it or run away from it. But, if you think about those emotional and mental resources as ‘skills’ then maybe it’s easier to set out changing the inside and building up those inner resources to cope, invite and accept Change, and more on your terms. You can learn those skills – just like you can learn multiplication or addition. You can learn self-confidence, or how to think in a different way, or how to put unruly emotions in their place (not easy), or how to be more patient, or how to be more self-assured. It isn’t impossible, but takes practice and discipline, until it becomes more natural. Until you become ‘skillful’ at it.


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